Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
