The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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