id be glad to
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
