do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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