Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
