hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
