the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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