I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
