Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was like eating out sand paper
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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