The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
