Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
