New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
