I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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