Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
