Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
