you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
