One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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