My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
