only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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