Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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