Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
