tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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