You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize