In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Of course I have a pirate flag
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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