summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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