Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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