Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
