We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dicks are not precious.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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