we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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