He uses pillows to masturbate.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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