Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
