My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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