forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
