Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
