at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
