I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
