Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
