And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
