Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
