did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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