OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize