How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
