I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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