Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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