Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
