I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
