You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
