Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
