thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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