the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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