i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.