Where is the hickey?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
