My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
