You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
