Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
