Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My breasts were aching with rage.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
