I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
