He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
