Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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