There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
